God Keeps His Secrets

I was thinking last night. Thinking hard. I was asking God why, and I was thanking Him for not telling me everything.

Would I have wanted to know, as the years were passing by, that my beloved Grandma would die of cancer within six months of her diagnosis? I don't think I would. My time with her was unsullied by those thoughts.

God is wise in what he allows us to know and what he does not. There was once a time in my life when I struggled with believing God: that he was worth trusting, that he had my good in mind. Back in those years my biggest wish was to be married. I couldn't figure out why God didn't just fulfill that desire. Now I see so many reasons! Now I am thankful for so many blessings I would not have if I had got my wish when I was eighteen. I don't pretend to know God's purposes, but I see how not knowing through some of those times helped me learn to trust His plan.

I once spent a few months with a man who spurred me on to righteousness and purity. I doubt that he knew about this effect. He was seeking God's way, not his own advancement. Even though it was a long time ago, I still remember how I felt around him. He made me feel like a princess. He made me want to be righteous. Chaste. Clean. Pure. Set apart. Holy. He reminded me that God's way is perfect. Being around him made me want to seek God more. But God only allowed me to be near him for a short time. I couldn't understand. I didn't want to be parted. I still don't know why God did this, but I am very happy He did. I am happy because God used this man to help shape who I am. He drew me closer to my Heavenly Father, further into God's glory and pleasures.

But it isn't just in my past that God has been faithful to provide for me. I see the hand of God all over my life just this last semester. Moving to a new school can be challenging. God protected me through a bad housing situation, and used it to guide me into the good place I am now living. I live with a wonderful Christian lady who took me in as rather a rescue job (I was suddenly without housing because of the situation at my first place). But her rescue job has turned into a wonderful friendship and a means of help for both of us. Turns out she was in need of cash, and I was in need of a safe place to stay. Now my safety reaches beyond the physical into the spiritual. God's protection extends soo far.

And it extended even farther than this. God has protected me by keeping me when I was close to falling, by paving the way before my feet, by guarding my path even when I was in disobedience. I have no fears for my future, because in addition to knowing that God is good and cares for me, I have seen it for myself.

I am glad that God keeps His secrets.