Interesting...

Assessment

Assessment.

Heart: beating
now faintly
pulse surges,
fades;

Grace defies
death-fear:
half-closed eyes.

Breath: there
now shallow,
another deep
gasp.

Life-truth: inhale
mouth, dry;
heat, pale.

Quickly, bind!
pressure stays:
weak blood
life-blood.

Lay my body
in a bath;
the water from
Your side.

Wash my wounds;
bind them.
Your life-blood
for mine.

Fill my lungs
with air,
with You.
Only You I breathe.

My heart cannot
beat alone.
It's You I need.

Lay for the Little Girls

You three
around your work
innocently
you follow

the example of
your mother
and women's work
is not toil for you.

It is your play
as you laugh,
and tease;
as you pound,
and sift,

your hearts light,
too young for
the weary sorrow
that your mothers bear.

What will your eyes see
as the years come,
your soft hands hardened
when play becomes work?

Will you be the first,
or a second wife,
and will your smile
abide, or die
with your first
or second child,
oppressed by the tears
you are forbidden to cry?

And what of your sweet,
child-clean souls,
knowing now only
a god you must appease,
a god far away
full of wrath
unable to keep
evil spirits at bay?

bye!

Bye everyone! I think I'll leave the States now. I'm not sure how much I'll get to update this but you never know....maybe I will have a little bit of time on the internet.

So...if not, I'll see you in December. Maybe I'll have a tan. On my face only. (evil laughter) (after all, it is three a.m.)

My Family

Family; baptism; "Only Alive" by Jars of Clay; being identified with His death and resurrection; being in the same family as those who are tortured and killed for their faith in Jesus; saying yes to Him no matter what! Whew! I'm tired now. :)

Leaving AGAIN!

Howdy Y'all! Sooo...after a delicious experience in Guatemala at Camp Guamiski, I'm going back to camp! Except this time, it's right here in my home state, CO. I'm going to Camp Salvation in the Rockies for two weeks to be a counselor and love on some kids with Jesus' love!

Even though I had a wonderful time in Guatemala, Camp Salvation is my favorite camp ever. God has used it in my life in significant ways in the past, and through it I've made some very valued friends! I'm looking forward to seeing what God is doing this year there--what He's changed and what He's kept the same--what He's creating.

Every year we are a new person, "like the rings on a tree--some years you grow more than others." (Mom) I can't wait to see how God is using all the new people this year to make up his Camp Salvation body!

See y'all in a couple weeks!

PS that y'all is something I got from my Guatemala teammates from the South. :) Wouldn't take it from anyone else, but they were awesome!

WOW

Wow. I know I have "failed" in keeping you all updated about my experiences. It's just that Guatemala was so overwhelmingly....um, so overwhelmingly, overwhelming. I don't have enough words to say what words can't say. So I got overwhelmed and said nothing:)

YA.

It was AMAZING and AWESOME but those are words that don't describe it--they just say that I liked it and it was overwhelming, in a good way.

Which is pretty much all I'm going to say here. The people on my email list get a much bigger letter...and anyone who wants to be on my list need only leave me a comment with their email. If you don't want it published, just let me know. I screen all the comments before they're published, so I can get the address and not show it to the world.

That said, I'm looking forward to Camp Salvation soooo much! I'll be leaving this coming Saturday, and I'm so pumped! I feel like God has healed and filled me and I'm excited about getting to share some of Him with others who need Him just like I do!

Truly God is good to those who have a clean heart. Funny, He's the one who makes it clean.

Guatemala!

Hey everyone! I'll be in Guatemala working at Camp Guamiski 'till the 22nd! Hope you are all well and keep a lookout after I get back cause I know I'll have tons of pictures/stories/praises to share!

Until All Know Him!

MillieJo

Camp Guamiski, Friday!

Sooo...

I am packing for Guatemala.

We will be there nine days. We'll stay in the city the first night, and then go on up to camp in the mountains, have our leadership meetings, and WHOOOO!!!! Camp starts Monday!

I can't wait. My first flight. WOW.

And then there are the kids. Half of them are homeschooled (like I was--not always easy, but good), all of them are living in a culture that doesn't even speak their native language. From the city to the jungles of the Peten, they are faced with real peril on a daily basis. They are heroes. I am praying God will give us wisdom and the ability to minister to them. I am praying He will do a mighty work in their hearts this week. I am praying for some very special worship. I am praying the rain will quit!

After camp (which I can tell is going to be AWESOME) we'll have a fun shopping day and eat at a nice restaurant before we head home next Sunday!

Why is God so good to me?

perspective

Sometimes in this town I feel like Lightening McQueen felt when he first encountered Radiator Springs. Well, maybe not completely like that, because I've always lived here, but perhaps a little...isolated.

It's funny, though, how much your attitude matters. If you open your eyes, there is so much beauty and peace to be found in the boonies.

Like today. I went out, riding my bike but walking too, just to get away and pray. The sky is so blue here, the clouds are clear and defined, the air clean. The town is practically deserted, and as I rode down the middle of the silent streets it occurred to me that I could never do that in the city. As I swung on my favorite park swing, I realized that only here, in my town, could I have this sort of solitude in public.

And then at the other park, I found a wonder. A tiny life, a killdeer, fluttered at my feet. It's wings were so intricate, it's claws perfectly formed and sharp, it's beak characteristically curved. I couldn't get pictures of the first one, but it's "nest" mate held still for me, even letting me pick it up and spread it's wing for a photo. Killdeer are interesting birds, making their nests on the ground. I just happened to stumble upon one. They are so well camouflaged that I probably couldn't find it again.

Being isolated isn't so bad.

And I'm not so isolated. Tonight we are going to see a movie in a town about 35 min. away.
Girl fun!

FIXED

Here you go guys! I think I got everything fixed. This is the video again, so you won't have to look so hard for it :)

milliejo

"Let It All Out" --relevant Relient K lyrics.

I just wanted to share some lyrics today. These are from Relient K's album MM'MM, and all the rights to them belong to Relient K! Mm'mm! Is an album worth buying, with songs such as "Who I Am Hates Who I've Been" and "High of 75." Full of humor and seasoned with grief, the upbeat music is full of joy and perspective. Enjoy the lyrics to "Let It All Out":)

Let it all out (get it all out)
Rip it out, remove it
Don't be alarmed, when the wound begins to bleed

'Cause we're so scared to find out (what this life's all about)
So scared we're gonna lose it
And knowing all along
That's exactly what we need

And today I'll trust you with the confidence
of a man who's never known defeat
But tomorrow, upon hearing what I did
I will stare at you in disbelief

Oh inconsistent me, crying out for consistency

And you said "I know that this will hurt
but if I don't break your heart, then things will just get worse.
If the burden seems too much to bear,
remember, the end will justify the pain it took to get us there.

"And I'll let it be known (at times I have shown)
Signs of all my weakness
But somewhere in me, there is strength

And you promised me (that you believe)
in time I will defeat this
'Cause somewhere in me, there is strength

And today I'll trust you with the confidence
of a man who's never known defeat
And I'll try my best to just forget
That that man isn't me

And you said "I know that this will hurt
but if I don't break your heart, then things will just get worse.
If the burden seems too much to bear,
remember, the end will justify the pain it took to get us there.

And you said "I know that this will hurt (I know this will hurt)
but if I don't break your heart, then things will just get worse. (things will get much worse)
When the burden seems too much to bear, (seems too much to bear)
remember, the end will justify the pain it took to get us there.

"Reach out to me
Make my heart brand new
Every beat will be for you, for you
And I know you know
You touched my life
When you touched my heavy heart
and made it light

~Relient K, "Let It All Out"

on the radio/kingdom singleness

I heard something on the radio today that resonated with me. I don't know who said it, but here it is!

"As a Christian single, you should be running toward Christ with all that you have. Then, if you look around you and see someone running beside you, take a second look."

I like that "dating philosophy." I like it a lot.

Excitement, and what I did.

Excitement.
It's like momentum.
It is building up, more.
And More, and MORE and MORE, and MORE!

It is knowing that I'm heading off, away from my home, family and all I know, into the great thrill of following God's call.

I know it will be crazy. Amazing, I'm sure, to see God's faithfulness in new ways. Testing, I'm positive, of my faith. I'll grow. Teach. Give, and receive of God every day. Experience fellowship in a way I could never in the States. Experience need in the same way. Experience fear, and learn more to rely on the King. My King-Papa.

Most of all I will be following God's calling on my life, and that in itself is surely satisfying.

But I bet you are all wondering what has actually been happening in my life, not what I'm feeling. Well today I:

• restrung a 12 string guitar, breaking only one new string, and (surprise!) it wasn't the high G!
• helped my mom put up our swamp cooler (it's getting warm out!)
• talked with my neighbor Betty for about an hour. It was awesome. We haven't got to do that in a long time.
• took a bike ride, and looked at the stars.
• Watched the stars come out!
• Worked on stuff for Camp Guamiski
• Called my guitar insurance people again.
• Took my little sis and bro to the park, endangering our skin (the sun was hot!)
• Went to prayer meeting
• and FINALLY posted on my blog!

Whew! I know I did more stuff than that! I just can't remember it all. :) I'm getting so old my memory is going away. He he. Goodnight all.

The Zerma Video

A video about the people group I will be serving in just a couple of months! Time goes by so quickly. It is only a couple of weeks until I go to Guatemala, and then my summer is going to fly by!

I have much to be thankful for tonight. People who love my church, me, in Jesus. Is there a greater blessing in life aside from Christ Himself? Tonight, I don't think so.

wish list

In light of recent events/conversations, I'd like to share a few of my desires publicly. In the event I am seriously disabled/dying, these are just a few of my wishes.

• if I'm alive, please keep me alive as long as possible
• please assume I can hear you talk and speak to me
• read me scripture, the gospels, psalms, prophets
• pray over and with me out loud, both for me and with me for people I love and care for
• please don't drug me to the point I can't think, even if I'm in pain
• but please do keep me out of pain as much as possible
• please wet my lips
• please bring my family/friends to see me as much as possible

OK, I know this really, really isn't a complete list, but it is a few things. For the record.

hum de ho, here we go

Time is flying, so fast.

It is summer again. Today was hot. I am sweaty.

And the time of waiting for Africa is drawing to a close.

What have I been doing? Not blogging, obviously! Since my last post I have: gotten five shots, bought a mosquito net tent (which is back ordered till July, wherever I find it!), received the devotional/club info in preparation for Camp Guamiski, Guatemala, oooOOOOoohhh so many things.

Tomorrow I am getting a yellow fever shot. Yikes.

Soo...Rock climbing

I've been an absent blogger...again!

But I have been a very present enjoy-er. My sis has been home for her birthday, and I we've been doing fun things together.

We visited friends in a town closer to the Rockies.
We rode in a convertible.
We ate Japanese.
We went to an awesome church where almost the whole praise team had tattoos and earrings! ---although Jesus is what made it good...
We had a birthday dinner at Chile's.
And we went rock climbing for the first time EVER!

It was so scary and so much fun that tomorrow we are traveling to the town I went to school at last semester to pick up Amanda and go again.

Maybe someday I will live in a town where I can belong to a climbing club.
For now, I'll live in the now, and love it.

allergies

Itchy, watery eyes. Sneezing, constant sneezing. A sinus headache. And a runny nose to top it all off.

I guess allergy season is here. Something on the wind makes it clear. And runny.

I wonder, will I experience this sort of thing in sub-Saharan Africa? What will the plants be like? Will they be things I am allergic to? Will the dust fill up my sinuses and inflict?

Whether it is easy or hard, I'm going! And I can't wait to leave.

this list could never be complete...

Wow. Millie and Blogging haven't been getting along well.

So today is list day. Lists not of things I need to do, nor yet of things I've done, but lists of the more important: things I am thankful for.

I am thankful for:

sunshine!
rain
wind
stars!
the moon (it is full tonight)
handwritten letters
telephone chats with old friends or new ones
the color yellow
creativity
Jesus, and His death and overflowing grace
A Father who will always be there to wrap me in His arms
courage, and strength from the Holy Spirit when mine fails utterly
quilts
books
music!
guitar, piano, voice...MUSIC!
a team working together
good food
tea
the ocean (even though I've never seen it)
the mountains
a cool breeze on a hot day
a warm breeze on a cold day
growing things
campfires
sleep
and the list goes on...

Input Day

I'm sitting on my trampock as I write this, feeling the sunshine on my back and listening to "Every Time I Breathe." Ah. I love spring.

Mostly, though, I love this life with Jesus. In every season of my life He has filled me with blessings, even though some of them are easier to see than others. Why do I ever have a bad attitude when the Almighty God of the Universe loves me and wants to give me every good thing?! Why don't I trust Him better?

One of the things I am most thankful for right now is the sunshine. And the smell of plum blossoms. And my amazing parents.

I love my parents. They bless my life every day with more wisdom, and help, and just love. I sometimes feel at a loss to honor them well. Does anyone have any ideas? How have you honored your parents, and what are some ideas you have heard about?

I guess today is input day! Please, share with me.

millieJo

Rhett and Link at the Grammy's '07

We had the opportunity of seeing Third Day in concert not long ago. They are my mom's favorite artists, and I enjoyed the concert alot! Their songs are uplifting and I came away from the concert wondering, what did Jesus' face look like? Anyway, our favorite funny guys, Rhett and Link, met Third Day at the Grammy's '07. You can see them in this funny video.

I fixed it!!!!

Could this be the answer? It isn't perfectly cosmetic, but I think my solution works. Check out the new center of my finally finished trampock!

The center. I took the whole thing off of the frame to tie the center knots. I needed Mo (alot!) when I was putting it back on! It was tight, but not as tight as I wanted it to be. :) Oh well, I'm not taking it out again!

Ah, so relaxing. Now if I only had a pillow.

my project looks like a spider's web! Where's Spiderman to enjoy it with us?

The braid of all the extra strings that I didn't have the heart (yet) to cut.

Ooooh that sun was bright!

This is the view looking up. Has there ever been a better napping place?!?

a picture is worth a thousand words

Today I would like to share some pictures with you! Unless otherwise noted, all the pictures I post are taken by my aspiring photographer sister, Mo.

This is me working on my tramp-ock, a hammock sort of invention I made on our old trampoline frame.

Aren't apricot blossoms beautiful! God is COOL!

Us enjoying the trampock

Me working on the center. See how it looks like a spider web?
Look at the color stripes! Now that center, not so cool. It has been very hard to decide how to do the middle, and I still am not happy with it. I think I'll take it out when I figure how to make it tight, yet lasting. Back view.
From beneath
And above

I hope you enjoyed my sister's pictures! If only it were going to be this nice out tomorrow...

I wrote a song...

Just thought I'd share the lyrics of a song I wrote recently. It is dedicated to my neighbor's young granddaughter, who wanted to eat the delicious looking candy that was actually droppings from our bunny.

Bunny poop is like candy.
Bunny poop is like candy!

It's got
an amazing crunch
So brown
munch, munch, munch!

Bunny poop is like candy!
Bunny poop is like candy.

Ok, I know it's not the kind of song you expected, but you should hear it played. You almost want to go get a plate and fork.

Strength found in friendships

Wow!

Wow. What a lovely week I've been having. I got to go visit a friend at her farm in almost-Nebraska. We had a delicious time visiting about everything from the pond we walked around to what life is like living in Africa. She has been to Uganda, and I am getting ready to go to West Africa, so we did talk about that alot. She even made me an African meal, complete with posho, and we ate it with our hands! The fellowship was the best part. There is nothing like sweet conversation while swinging on a homemade swing set!

But that was only the beginning. I got to see another good friend just a couple days after I got home. My little sister had to go to the orthodontist, and a friend I've known since I was 5 lives in the same town as her dentist, so YAY! we got to stay the night with her and her family! We even made time to ride horses in the morning before going into town. If making new friends is delightful, so is hanging out with an old one. Old friends rarely misunderstand you, and you know they will continue to love you, no matter what you do or have done. Even if they aren't coming from the same place as you, they know where you come from, and love you because of it! The best part of this visit, I think, was watching the sun rise in the cool morning air, while we walked to the edge of the pasture, visiting. If you all haven't figured it out yet: I love visiting!

God's blessings are always timed just right. Now I can dig into some of the work that is set before me with the strength found in friendships. God is so good to me!

Sometimes I Write Poetry (lame as it may be)

Misery
By MillieJo

Today
I feel
Like hiding in a hole
In the ground
Like a
Badger.

Then if
I saw a
Person, I'd come out
And bite
Him.

And
I would go
Back into my hole a
Very miserable
Animal.

Reminder

I know I've posted about this before, but I just wanted to remind you all that my friend Joel is still in the process of raising funds for the Castro Church Project. Please continue to pray for him and our brothers and sisters in Christ that he is seeking to help! You can find alot more info at:

http://www.castrochurchproject.info

Please share!

MillieJo

"Bob's your uncle."

Hello to all my friends out there in blog-land! I know it has been quite a long time since I posted something significant. Things have been happening, yes, but my desire to chronicle them has left something to be desired. When I am full of many thoughts and plans change quickly I don't blog as much.

In blogs, one's life is an open book, for the whole world to see. The good, bad and ugly all could read this if they wanted. This is another reason I haven't been blogging. In some ways, my life has been private of late.

I have a lot to think about. Soon I am leaving the country. I am going to Guatemala in June for nine days to help out at a camp. It is going to be wonderful.

And then in August I am going to Africa.

I am very excited about Africa! And I have much to read and do. I have a feeling spring will bring acceleration and I'll be out of the country before you can say "Bob's your uncle."

So I ask for your prayers.

You're Here

Every step I take
You’re here.
The breath of God,
You make my life good.

Yesterday, you were there:
My peace,
My good tomorrow.

My life began
The day I met You,
And it will never end:
I believe You.

When I tremble
Love, You surround me.
Courage and Strength:
Mercy unending.

Take me away!
Lonely, I’m longing.
Forever honeymoon:
I believe you.

But if I stay
My heart is with You,
Consumed with grace
I will step again.

You are here.

Someone Turned Down the Thermostat

When I look outside it feels like today should be Christmas, not March! The wind is blowing, and the snow is drifting, sifting down and around and over, under and up. If there were more snow, it would be a blizzard. I am glad it is not.

I suppose it is really not that cold outside. It is probably only cold enough to keep the snow from melting. But yesterday was summer, and the contrast makes it very cold indeed.

Yesterday Rissa, Sully, Mo and I "took our wheels" to the courthouse and the big parking lot behind the city hall. That is what we do in the summer. Wearing shorts and tees, we enjoy the two single places in our town that a good "city" side-walk can be found. Yesterday I rollerbladed, Sully rode his bike, and Rissa used Mo's scooter. We had much fun, and got sweaty, too.

Today, someone turned down the thermostat. And I had almost convinced myself it was time to plant our garden.

Expelled

Hey ever-body! Check this trailer out. It is for a movie called "Expelled." It is about free speech, the social forces against God and creationism that are prevailing today, and the way people are defending Darwinism. Their defense seems almost to border on Nazi thinking. You know, the, lets-burn-books-we-disagree-with kind of thinking. I'm not sure if or when we will be able to see the movie, but doesn't it look intriguing?

http://www.expelledthemovie.com/playground.php

Hope you all enjoy it!

MillieJo

Young Ladies Christian Fellowship: Seasons of Singleness - Part Two

Hey everyone, I discovered a very true, encouraging article on singleness and waiting. Anyone who is interested in living for Jesus can find something relevant here:

Young Ladies Christian Fellowship: Seasons of Singleness - Part Two

I hope you all enjoy it! Now I'm going outside!!!

Don't Forget About the Music

Hello to my (four) readers! As I come into a season of what may be more frequent posting, I wanted to remind all of you that you can enjoy music while you visit my site. Just scroll down to the bottom of the page and you will find a whole playlist of some of my favorite songs. I hope you enjoy them!



It is a beautiful sunny day outside, a refreshing 50 degrees. We are getting seed catalogues in the mail. I'm going to fix the tires on my bike, and my cabin fever is begining to subside. I know "it's gonig to be a bright, bright sunshiney day"!



Thank you God for spring!

Liberty and Law

Are ye so foolish? having begun in the Spirit, are ye now made perfect by the flesh? Gal3:3

For, brethren, ye have been called unto liberty; only use not liberty for an occasion to the flesh, but by love serve one another. Gal 5:13

Privacy (a valentine's poem)

To Die is Gain

"For I know that this shall turn to my salvation through your prayer, and the supply of the Spirit of Jesus Christ, according to my earnest expectation and my hope, that in nothing I shall be ashamed, but that with all boldness, as always, so now also Christ shall be magnified in my body, whether it be by life, or by death. For me to live is Christ, and to die is gain." Philippians 1:19-21

These verses have been especially meaningful in my life of late. I wanted to share them with you. I love how Paul hints at the inner workings of the spiritual life, how the prayer of others is linked to his salvation (from what? his circumstances?) and also to the supply of the Spirit of Jesus Christ, and his hope, because he hopes in belief. Does he want personal comfort? Does he desire a reputation? Admiration? NO. Only that "Christ shall be magnified," by life or death. Only Christ, and "to die is gain."

MillieJo

Perfect is Boring by Rich Mullins

Perfect is Boring

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Many of you know that Rich Mullins is one of my personal heros of the faith. Today I am sharing with you a small clip of him speaking about faith.

I realize that I have been sporadic at best when it comes to posting on this blog. I can't promise that this will change, but I still hope to share some things with you that interest me, and continue to write as the impulse suits me.

I hope you enjoy the words of Rich Mullins. If you are interested in hearing some of his songs I believe I have some on my player at the bottom of the page. Just scroll down through the songs and you should find a couple at least.

Be Still My Soul

Be still, my soul: the Lord is on thy side.
Bear patiently the cross of grief or pain.
Leave to thy God to order and provide;
In every change, He faithful will remain.
Be still, my soul: thy best, thy heavenly Friend
Through thorny ways leads to a joyful end.

Be still, my soul: thy God doth undertake
To guide the future, as He has the past.
Thy hope, thy confidence let nothing shake;
All now mysterious shall be bright at last.
Be still, my soul: the waves and winds still know
His voice Who ruled them while He dwelt below.

Be still, my soul: when dearest friends depart,
And all is darkened in the vale of tears,
Then shalt thou better know His love, His heart,
Who comes to soothe thy sorrow and thy fears.
Be still, my soul: thy Jesus can repay
From His own fullness all He takes away.

Be still, my soul: the hour is hastening on
When we shall be forever with the Lord.
When disappointment, grief and fear are gone,
Sorrow forgot, love’s purest joys restored.
Be still, my soul: when change and tears are past
All safe and blessèd we shall meet at last.

Be still, my soul: begin the song of praise
On earth, believing, to Thy Lord on high;
Acknowledge Him in all thy words and ways,
So shall He view thee with a well pleased eye.
Be still, my soul: the Sun of life divine
Through passing clouds shall but more brightly shine.

in the silence

I've been feeling in the dark this month.

Maybe it was the "hibernation" weather.
Maybe it was the lack of contact with the IMB
Maybe it was the uncertainty, cabin fever, the cold, the ice.
Maybe it was my attitude.

But God is at work, even in the silence. Even when it feels like He is silent.

God is with me.
I believe it.

And He proves it. With His strength, His gifts.

For the gifts and the calling of God are irrevocable. Ro11:29 ESV

I have received some very good gifts this week. I was blessed by a sweet visit with my friends Krissy and Joy, and YAY! I was accepted to work for the International Missions Board.

Now for assignments.....

Rhett and Link

Few and Far Between

Some friendships are for awhile, while interests coincide. Some last only until the ocasion ends that brought the friends into each other's company. And still others are friends only until trust is betrayed, or character changes. And then there are friends for life and eternity.

Such a one is my sweet friend Jenna. We share great desires for Jesus, purity, music, worship, faith, and holiness. Kindred Spirits come few and far between these days, so I treasure every one.

You will not be surprised at my joy, then, when I heard that she would be coming to stay with me for about a week this winter break. We had one of the nicest weeks ever. Just hanging out was precious to us, because we don't know when we will see one another again. I will be leaving the country, and college dominates her schedule.

We went walking, in the semi-country, the golf course.
We spent talking time, relaxing time, movies and puzzles.
We played piano duets till my brain ached.
And we watched One Night With the King--one of the most romanticist movies ever.

Thank you God, for friends who know You, understand love for You, understand the choices of following You.

Thank you God for Jenna.