Enough, and Relationship

Ok, enough with marriage posts. Why? Because it's a heck of alot of fun being single!

[note to friends: NO I am not posting as a rebellion against all the weddings happening]

Being single. Ahh. The refreshing winds of freedom. I call it my time of being boss. No sanctifying influence of another person you have to live with day in and day out, that you have to love when they are being irritating. Our burdens come from other places.

Like loneliness. How do we deal with that? Do we look at couples being cute and pine away? I propose not. I mean, looking sounds nice, but not pining away. I say...pray.

Prayer. To me, prayer has been the sweetest gift found in my singleness. It succours the loneliness. It brings answers. It brings adventures and challenges and dares even. It is scary and exciting and risky and fun, but it's also safe, romantic, comfortable and secure.

Of course, this kind of prayer does not happen in one day. Or one week. It is a lifestyle, and it isn't as easy as that paragraph made it sound. But it isn't hard either. It's plain old good. The safety grows with our knowledge of God's faithfulness, the risk with our ability to hear his voice of direction.

I used to think that singleness was a trial. I would 'suffer' through all kinds of unfulfilled emotions. Then I got into this prayer thing. The emotions are still there. But the suffering has turned into a relationship.

And relationships are what I'm all about.

1 1/4 inches???!!!

My parents have a special wall in our kitchen. It's covered with names and dates, lines telling how tall we were and are, the story of our growing.

I was surprised today, by that wall. My dad was measuring my 5 year old brother. He grew about 1 1/2 inches since last September. So I asked him to measure me, knowing that I am done growing, and would be exactly as tall as the last mark, which was in January of '07.

I grew 1 1/4 inches! I couldn't believe that I would grow between my 23rd and 25th years. I hadn't grown taller in several years before that.

But maybe it is a symbol. I had a huge spiritual growth spurt during that time period. Maybe my King just wanted to give me a physical reminder that He cares about my growing.

Who knew I'd grow 1 1/4 inches taller while I was growing closer to my King! Thank you Jesus, for caring about all of my life :) I love You!

Ay Corey kang go Molli ra

Ay bay kang boreykulu mana faham wone tirra. Amma, ay ga ba kang ay Afrique borey ga faham, zama ay gonda sanizey a se.

Zarma borey, da ay cele, AY GA BA NI!
Ay go ga ni faaji.
Ay ga Irikoy sabu ni se.

Fati Myma, Irikoy ma konda cimi ni se. Cimi, da cimibeeri, da baafuna. Irikoy ma konda arrawaso hanno kang bay Yesu ni se, da Irikoy ma ni konda nwari, da bani, da coro hanno, da coro kang bay Yesu. Fati Myma, ay go ga adduwa ni se, kang ni ma du gabi, ni ma ci borey boobo Yesu bong, ni ma du farha Yesu ra. Ay ga ba ni gumo!

Fati Bubacar Beeri, ay go ga ni faaji. Ay faaji ni suru, da ni care-bandayang da ay. Ay go ga adduwa ni se, kang ni ma faham Yesu baafuna ni se, kang ni ma du cimibeeri, kang ni ma du Yesu, da ni ma te Yesu sani. Ay go ga adduwa ni se, kang Irikoy ma konda ni se bani, da cimi, da Yesu baakasinay.

Bubacar, ay go ga adduwa ni se, mo. Irikoy ma konda ni se biya bani, da cimibeeri, da Irikoy sani, da gabi ga te Yesu saniboobo. Ni ma te Yesu sani, zama ni ma ti Molli Yesu Alfaga. Ay go ga Irikoy ba ga ni no gabi kang ni ma ci Molli boreykulu se Yesu sani, da Yesu cimi. Irikoy go ga ni ba gumo. Ni mana dirgan kang Yesu ga no jineykulu kang ni gonda moradu se. Mo, Irikoy ga ni no haykulu kang ni gonda biya moradu se. Ni ma miila bong Yesu sani zarakulu.

Sadi, Ay go ga ni faaji. Ay ga ba ga te cowyang da ni, da ay ga ba ga ti ni beeri. Waati kang ni maa Irikoy sani, ni ma maa hanno, da boori. Irikoy gonda cimi. Ni ma maa, ni ma te. Zama ay ga ba ni. Ay ga ba ga di ni beene ra! Irikoy ma konda cimibeeri ni se!

Irikoy, Ay Yesu, Ay Baba, fonda goy ni goy Molli ra. Ay go ga Ni sabu gumo zama ni baa ay Molli borey, da Molli boreykulu. Ni ma te borey se hannokulu. Iri ga ni beerundi zarakulu. Iri ga ni sabu, zama ni Iri zunubu teeri. Ni faham sanikulu, da Iri beerundi ni Iri biya ra, carebanda. Ka, ga te iri se. Zama Iri ti ni izey kayna. Yesu mayo ra, Amen.

Abide in My Love

Jesus said to her,
"Woman, why are you weeping? Whom are you seeking?" Supposing him to be the gardener, she said to him,
"Sir, if you have carried him away, tell me where you have laid him, and I will take him away." Jesus said to her,
"Mary." She turned and said to him in Aramaic,
"Rabboni!" (which means Teacher). Jesus said to her,
"Do not cling to me, for I have not yet ascended to the Father; but go to my brothers and say to them, 'I am ascending to my Father and your Father, to my God and your God.'"
~from John 20 ESV

It is raining today. Not a fierce, driving rain, nor yet a steady soft rain. But it is raining a gentle drizzle that is just enough to get you significantly wet if you're in it for more than a few minutes, but not so much as to make it miserable to be out. The clouds make a grey light that lulls one to sleep. Indeed, it is a very sleepy day.

But it is not a very wintry day, and for that I am grateful. I'm so tired of winter. Spring is almost fully here, and I love it.

My Savior is alive.

I was reminded as I was walking in the beautiful weather, how intensely Jesus impacts my life. Actually it is His life that gives me life. I think of so many things I look to for pleasure, and how they always fail to satisfy unless I am walking in Jesus' love. Only then does anything have meaning for me, and then, everything does. "Abide in my love," He said. "If you keep my commandments you will abide in my love."

For example, I was helping mom get the garden ready a couple of days ago (we got nearly all of it tilled). Doing home things often reminds me that I desire my own home and family. But I want nothing without Jesus. I want singleness right now, because I have Jesus' life in my singleness. I would walk in His love in all times of life. Should I marry, it would be hell without Jesus' life in my marriage...in my very heart.

Maybe I am being confusing. What I mean to say is this: Jesus in me is my worth--not the approval of men, the discovery of pleasure, or being in control--, and living in Him is all life. Without Him I can do nothing. And I'm so glad He is alive...is giving me life!

"If you keep my commandments you will abide in my love."
Jesus, may I keep them!

~from John 15

Believe in the LORD your God

"Then Jehoshaphat bowed his head with his face to the ground, and all Judah and the inhabitants of Jerusalem fell down before the LORD, worshiping the LORD. And the Levites, of the Kohathites and the Korahites, stood up to praise the LORD, the God of Israel, with a very loud voice.

And they rose early in the morning and went out into the wilderness of Tekoa. And when they went out, Jehoshaphat stood and said, "Hear me, Judah and inhabitants of Jerusalem! Believe in the LORD your God, and you will be established; believe his prophets, and you will succeed." And when he had taken counsel with the people, he appointed those who were to sing to the LORD and praise him in holy attire, as they went before the army, and say,

'Give thanks to the LORD,
for his steadfast love endures forever.'

And when they began to sing and praise, the LORD set an ambush against the men of Ammon, Moab, and Mount Seir, who had come against Judah, so that they were routed."

2 Chronicles 20: 18-22

Moon Prayer

Why do I forget

the wind is tossing

forget you are here
the moon glows tonight very clearly: you can see the face in it, and the clouds are orange beside it, cotton candy orange
for some reason
the sunset is like a painting, with living colors behind the silhouettes, colors always changing, so vibrant
I look at my life
depressed, as if you left me
behind.
the silence embraces me with clean passion
as if my plans are what I need
and they don't matter to you
the passion is sinking into me, as stars come, now faintly, now brighter against the deep blue of the sky
but then I
let go
the night wind is getting colder and clouds begin to creep in from the south
I confess my sins
the clouds are making shadows in front of the moon, a beauty so subtle, so wild
And looking around me
I hear the hoot of an owl, the smallest noises piercing the silence, life
I let you love me.

lost things found

So the reason I am free to write this post is that the wind came up alot and I am not able to work outside. Instead, I'm writing scholarship applications today, and, as you can see, blogging. But I wanted to share a small thing with you. A little thing that means alot to me, because it reminds me how intricate God's dealings with us are!

I lost:
mp3 player last July
my camera battery charger
my capo yesterday
my left leather glove worth 12 bucks
my cap
my brush

(the last three out in a field which is like a black hole---you lose it, it's gone!)

I found:
my camera battery charger (after 3 weeks)
my cap
my brush
and my left leather glove (after 3 days)

Isn't God sweet to show me such mercy?! It seems like I always ask Him to help me find stuff and He does! Not that He's my maid, but I love knowing He's interested in every part of my life, even the fact that I'm frustrated with losing things. Not that I'm annoyed with not having them, but I do get annoyed with my losing them!

He knows where the mp3 player and capo are too. Now I wonder...